Reggie-isms

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own………

pragmatism we can believe in June 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 11:39 pm
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Dear Barack Obama,

Change we can believe in?  Really?

What kind of change would that be?  The kind of change where politicians stick to their word?  Or the kind of change where principles and values are stood by even when they aren’t convenient?

If this is the kind of change you were talking about, then shouldn’t that change start with yourself?

How can you vow to endorse a system if you don’t have faith in it?  You pledged to work with the Republican party to both agree to public financing.  In order to keep the campaign honest and fair.  In order to not waste obscene amounts of money on ridiculous commercials and other wasteful campaign “necessities”.

If this system was so “corrupt” and “broken” as you now say, then why did you want to use it in the first place?  Both parties are now agreeing to forgo the use of a system that has been in place since the seventies.  Public financing?  What politician wants to be beholden to the people?  Clearly, neither of these candidates do.  That would just be silly.  Limits on spending?  Who wants that?  Who wants to be told that they can’t use the $290 million that they have raised?

I know you’ll come back at me with the fact that we need to stay ahead of the McCain campaign, that this is an election that the Democrats need to win, that this country can’t afford another term with a “Bush clone”.  Essentially, that it is more important to win this one.

Well on that argument I will agree with Jon Stewart and the numerous other commentators in calling you a hypocrite.  Hypocrisy is saying one thing, and then doing another.  That is what you have done, no matter how you look at it.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand that it is easier for you this way.    But don’t you see that makes you just like the rest of them?

I am beginning to get a little angry with you.  You keep saying that we have a corrupt government.  That our system isn’t working.  That you will try to bring about change.  Well, in all due respect, fuck off.  Our system isn’t corrupt.  It is being used by corrupt people to meet their own ends.  It is not a perfect system, but it has been operating for a good 250 years now, I wouldn’t exactly say the whole thing is worth throwing out the window.

You want to clarify what the “system” is?  That it isn’t just our congress and our supreme court?  You say that the “system” is Washington itself and the way politicians and lobbyists use it for their own gains?  Fine, I can accept that.  But now you expect me to rely on someone like you to bring about that change?  You just proved that you are no different.  You claim that you need to abandon the public financing system in order to become president, that in doing so there won’t be the kind of corruption in spending that the public financing system was originally designed to guard against.  But all you give us is your word that you won’t.  And didn’t you just go back on your word?

Sure our system has its cracks, and people sometimes fall through them (I would now I had to crawl my way out of some of them).  But who are you to come along and say that you are the better person, the one who can make the system better?  It has always been one of my biggest issues with you as a candidate, and this has only made it worse.  No, its not the “elitest” thing everyone keeps throwing at you.  You are highly educated and moral person, one of the elite, one of those that should be working towards a better nation, but these actions have pushed you into all out “snobbery” and that good sir, I will not take.  Don’t talk down a system and then jump right in act in accordance with those you have just denounced. 

Stop insulting my nation and its way of government.  Stop acting like you are better than the corruption, when you are not.  Don’t claim that you will stick to your word, when you don’t.  And yes, as silly as it may seem, put your god damn hand over your heart when you hear the pledge of allegiance or the national anthem.  Its a sign of respect, something we all do as Americans.  Try to stand with us, and not above us.  Don’t say that images like that are not important, because they are.  You should know better, don’t try and stand there and justify your actions and say that signs like that don’t matter, because you know that they do.  You are not an idiot, so stop being a snob.  You are not so much better than anyone else that you don’t need to place your hand on your heart in a show of respect to the flag and anthems that symbolize the great ideals that this nation stands for.

You’re lucky that John McCain has become a “Bush clone” and as a result has lost my respect as a politician.  If he was the same McCain I fell in love with 8 years ago I would not be voting for you in November.  Do you really want to be the guy that wins because you’re the lesser of two evils?

Change we can believe in?  Give me one good reason I should continue to believe that that change will come with you……….

You might not be impressing me, but there are enough people in this country that believe you can help this nation.  Please don’t let them down.  Don’t ask them to “believe” in a change with you and then fail to live up to that ideal.  The citizens of this country work hard and we deserve better than that.  We need a leader who will look out for our best interests instead of their own.

Please smarten up and get your shit together man, this country needs you.

 

Sincerely,

Reggie

 

Good times never seemed so good…… June 24, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 2:55 pm
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There is really nothing quite like watching a game at Fenway Park…….

I went to the first game of the series between the Arizona Diamondbacks and my beloved Red Sox.  I ended up taking my little brother as a present for his graduating from high school this last May.  It was the first game I had been to all season and despite our loss, it was simply amazing to be there.

The lights, the fans, the ridiculous way the announcer pronounces the player’s names, the seventh inning stretch, overpriced crappy beer, hearing “sweet caroline” blare over the loud speakers before the bottom of the 8th, and harassing fans of the opposing team, its all part of the great experience of Fenway.  Seeing a game somewhere else just isn’t the same.  

The only thing I don’t understand is why every time I manage to get hold of some tickets, they are always in areas that are surrounded by fans of the opposing team.  I went to the Sox/Yankees game when they hit four home runs in a row in a single inning and our seats were smack dab in the middle of a crowd of Yankees fans.  I’m always a little nervous when this happens to me now.  I have a tendency to be a little bit loud and using profanity in everyday conversation is somewhat of a hobby of mine, these factors coupled with some beers and the intensity of emotion I feel always make me a little nervous that I’ll be ejected from the park.  At the Yankees game I was consistently threatening to punch the 15 year old Yankees fan that was sitting next to me, and if we had been losing I probably would have.  I stand up, I yell inappropriate insults at the other team, and if I hear you cheering for the other team I will at minimum, ridicule you’re loyalties, and maybe even insult your mom.

In the end its all in good fun.  No one can claim that they’ve never had a little bit of fun acting like a drunk asshole at least once in their lives.  It happens, lets not judge.  

Of course I was especially looking forward to this particular game because they are both essentially my teams.  The DBacks are my adopted team after the summer I lived in Arizona, and luckily they almost never play the Red Sox, as they are a member of the national league.  They’re also a solid team, in fact we almost played them last year in the world series.  They had a great start to their season, but have since fell behind a bit but they still show some promise.  After all, they did in fact beat us last night.  It was interesting seeing them play at Fenway park and afforded me the opportunity to experience the oddity of real live Dbacks fans.  Even in Arizona they can be a tough thing to come across (last year when they played the Red Sox in Arizona Chase Stadium broke its attendance record, but you could only see maybe one DBacks fan for every Sox fan).  But here they were in Fenway, cheering for their team.  The girl sitting in front of me had really long hair that dropped behind her seat and it kept brushing against my knees.  By the 8th inning I had a very vivid fantasy of choking her with her long stupid hair.  Some would say this kind of anger is silly and pointless, and I suppose that if I claimed to be rational during sporting events, I would agree with them.  The thing I love the most about watching sports is that it strips you down to your raw emotions.  You are either the happiest you’ve ever been or you feel like jumping off of a bridge.  You don’t really need a lot of thought beyond that, except maybe the restraint to not kill someone over the outcome of the game.

There are some people who don’t understand why people watch sports.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things its just a game and in the end it doesn’t really matter.  But they stand as a unifying force.  They give people something to do and look forward to.  They give people memories of family and friends.  I can go anywhere in the world and bond with someone simply by discovering they are a fan of the same team that I am.  

This last sunday I also had the experience of watching Italy play Spain in the Euro Cup quarter finals.  Its easy to say that I know absolutely nothing about soccer except that you kick the ball into the goal, but a friend of mine who is into soccer wanted to check out the game and I figured a significant portion of my heritage comes from the Italians so I would go out and support them.  We watched the game in a bar in the North End surrounded by other Italians and soccer fans.  It was a scoreless game, went into overtime and still scoreless.  They had to resort to penalty kicks and Spain ended up winning.  How anyone agreed to the rules that allow almost 2 hours of play be absolutely meaningless, I’ll never know, but so it goes with timed sports I suppose.  Again, it was awesome to see people come together, wearing their team’s colors, and cheering for them even though we’re thousands of miles away from where the action is taking place.

Anyway, back to baseball.  I think I need to stop watching games.  The last four I’ve watched they lost and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve become bad luck.  Despite the loss and the fact I won’t be able to afford to eat the next two weeks, I wouldn’t trade last night for anything.  There are very few things that get me as worked up and excited as watching a game live at Fenway.  You can almost feel the energy in the air.  It can be quite an awesome experience.  And if you don’t understand what I’m talking about you need to invest in some tickets to the next home game and see why Fenway is one of the greatest baseball parks and why the Red Sox “ah the sickest team evah ked”.

GO SOX!!!!!

 

There can only be one……. June 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 1:00 am
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I’m going to take a minute and totally diverge from my usual subject matter……

Tonight I watched the Celtics win their first championship since 1986, and all I can say is wow.  I have always been a fan of baseball but have acquired a new found respect for basketball.  Watching Kevin Garnett literally cry tears of joy brought up a lot of emotions for myself.  It made me pause and reflect on the impact that sports can have in a person’s life.

Sports never had a large impact in my life until I reached college really.  My first emotional sports experience happened during my freshman year when I watched the Yankees defeat the Red Sox in 2003.  I was shocked that I could get so angry and upset over something that should otherwise seem trivial.  By my sophomore year I moved in with three girls I didn’t know before, one of them happened to work as a ball girl for the Red Sox.  This also happened to be the year the Red Sox won the World Series since 1918.  I watched the biggest come back in sports history as the Red Sox came back from a 3 game loss, winning 4 games in a row in the ALCS.  I watched them make history again when they played the Cardinals and win another 4 straight games, winning the World Series for the first time in 86 years.  I had seen the curse broken.  I can’t even explain the emotion that it brought out in me.  You can’t walk away from seeing something like that and not gain a life long appreciation for sports.

Of course three years later I watched them win yet another World Series.  Which honestly, was surreal.  Unlike the first championship I saw them win where I was cheering and yelling, this second victory left me starring blankly at the TV in awe.  I couldn’t believe we had done it again.  It almost didn’t feel right.  It made me think of a night during the playoffs when I was still in Arizona and my roommate and I had gone out drinking after one of the games.  We were wearing Red Sox shirts and a guy yelled at us “fucking Red Sox fans”.  We turned around in shock.  We went over and talked to this guy and were like “wtf would you say that dude?”.  He was like “I’m a cubs fan, fuck the Red Sox”.  After years of yelling unsolicited obscenities at innocent Yankees fans, were we now doomed to suffer the same fate?  Were we really getting to be good enough to be hated by other fans?  I wasn’t so sure if I was ready to be the asshole fan of the new ‘hot shot’ team.  I rather enjoyed our under-dog status, it made it more meaningful to win.  But ultimately, you’re not really going to hear me complain.  We totally deserve to be the asshole team that everyone hates, it happens when you get to be fucking awesome!!

This year I entered into my 4th official fanatical fanship Red Sox season.  I only missed watching 4 games in the first month of the season.  Until I watched them lose a game against Tampa Bay.  It was ridiculous.  They let them gain two runs in the 8th inning and then it was over.  I was so mad I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I decided to leave and head to a friend’s house and try and improve my mood.  Most of the kids there were watching basketball, a sport that I never paid attention to.  I ended up recapping the game for someone and had to think of my aggravation all over again.  I decided that night that maybe I should take a break from watching baseball.  I was seriously getting depressed about it.  Ortiz had been hitting shitty and that is always a killer for my mood.  Nothing could make me happier than seeing him slam one out of the park.  It hurt me to see his frustration every time he was at bat.  So I resolved myself to checking the scores after the fact and reading the recaps in the paper on the way to work in the morning.

I never watched basketball before in my life really.  The only memories I have of it are watching sometimes with my grandparents while eating popcorn.  The only member of the Celtics ever I could name was Larry Bird (and then a few months ago I added Kevin Garnett to the list but only because I had to make a trophy for him at work).  My roommate is a huge basketball fan.  I caught the first 4 games of the finals with him.  There is definitely something to be said about starting to watch a sport consistently.  By the 2nd game I was definitely starting to pay attention more to what was going on.  It was awesome to see them win the championship.  It moved me to see players and coaches alike get so emotional.  I’m now inspired to learn a little bit more about the game in terms of rules and stats and who knows, maybe I will even try following it next season.  I’ve tried to get into football but it just hasn’t happened, so I’m still searching for that winter sport to distract me.

All in all, I think I’m ready to return to my Red Sox.  Tonight I remembered what it was like to feel happy about sports and not angry.  I realized that in the last 5 years they have played an increasingly more important role in my life and I can’t imagine living without them.  Especially now that I am not in school they provide something to look forward to, something to watch and see develop, something that can evoke emotions in me that few other things can.  Following sports is my new extracurricular activity.  There is always a game to watch on TV if I have a lack of anything better to do.  Sports can bring people together.  They can inspire people to better their lives and work harder to achieve what might seem to be impossible.

In conclusion, thanks to J-Man’s enthusiastic outbursts and a well played series of games by some amazing athletes I am for sure now a fan of basketball.  I can now name a few more players, and while I am not sure about all of the rules quite yet I am inspired to take on a new team to follow and support.

Thank you Celtics for being amazing!!!!!!

and as always

GO SOX!!!!!!

 

What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis? June 14, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 12:51 pm
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Hillary Clinton is still my girl.  She is one of the (sadly) few women in politics today that could stand as a viable candidate for president in this country.  Yet again I will side with her and state that:

I, Reggie, endorse Barack Obama and throw my full support behind him.

I’m still skeptical about his qualifications.  I’m not sure that I’m head over heels for him like other people tend to be in my age group, but damn, the man knows how to give a good speech.  In doing a little research on race and politics in this country I came across a speech he gave regarding the same issues in March.  After watching it I had to finally agree, that at least on this subject, I can say that Barack is my boy.  (and not in the racially derogatory use of the word ‘boy’, but more like in the Will Ferrell, Old School “you’re my boy Blue!” kind of way)

I encourage you to watch the whole speech if you get a chance.  Video as well as the written transcript of the speech are provided here.  The paragraphs below are in order but some are taken from separate portions of his speech.  I have highlighted phrases and sentences that I have found relevant to my own discussion about race and politics in this country.  I provided the full paragraphs with the highlights so that they will not be seen as being taken out of context (as so often can occur when talking about controversial issues.)

Again, like Obama himself, I do not claim that race issues do not exist in this country, but that an open dialogue needs to occur.  Black and white Americans need move beyond the simple distraction of “race” and come together to work side by side in order to correct the injustices that now affect us all.

and now for Sen. Barack Obama:

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we’ve never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.”

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven’t fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and  A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one’s family, contributed to the erosion of black families – a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods – parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement – all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn’t make it – those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations – those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright’s generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician’s own failings.

That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don’t feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience – as far as they’re concerned, no one’s handed them anything, they’ve built it from scratch. They’ve worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they’re told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze – a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns – this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It’s a racial stalemate we’ve been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy – particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction – a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people – that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances – for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs – to the larger aspirations of all Americans — the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives – by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American – and yes, conservative – notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright’s sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination – and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past – are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds – by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle – as we did in the OJ trial – or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina – or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright’s sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she’s playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we’ll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, “Not this time.” This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. 

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don’t have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn’t look like you might take your job; it’s that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should’ve been authorized and never should’ve been waged, and we want to talk about how we’ll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn’t believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation – the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

 

we don’t take kindly to social ignorance…… June 13, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 6:33 pm
Tags: , ,

I am a big fan of South Park.  It is a well written show that critiques current events, politics, and society, while also making you laugh.  The fact that its animation and that the main characters are 9 year olds allows the show to get away with presenting controversial subjects.  I enjoy using them as a point of reference as readily as I would any academic article, book, or news show.  

In fact, in my Junior year of college I took a seminar on international relations (which I hate, but it was required) and I made a point every week of referencing a South Park episode (or sometimes even Family Guy or the Simpsons).  My professor didn’t like that at all and she took me aside after class one week and told me I had to stop using them as points of reference and that I should watch the news or read the paper instead.  I of course politely told her that I refuse to watch the news and that shows like South Park deserve just as much credit as the shows that can be seen on any news station.  

I have refused to watch any news channels after Anna Nicole Smith died and they had non-stop coverage of every little detail.  They had to interrupt the Anna Nicole story to bring up quickly that there was a suicide bombing in the middle east.  Because obviously Anna Nicole is the more newsworthy story.  I needed to know what drug combination killed her, or who her baby’s daddy was, why should I care if a whole group of people died because of a politically/religiously motivated bombing?  As long as the news was reporting crap then I could keep using “crap” like South Park in my arguments.

Needless to say, I kept on bringing up those South Park episodes and my professor slapped me with an A- at the end of the semester (which my conspiracy theorist mind is convinced she strove to find a way to do this to me every class I had with her since freshman year). 

Anyways, in continuing with my string of posts regarding race issues in this country, I figured I would provide you with some links to some racially themed episodes of South Park.  If you’re a fan of the show you have probably already seen them but I suggest that you watch them again, as they portray some of the points I have been trying to make.  If you’re not a fan of the show yet I would urge you to check out some episodes.  The show’s website has made available all 12 seasons for free streaming online so they are pretty easy to access.  You can find them all here.  

I think its important to expose yourself to all kinds of information and media.  Shows like South Park help to facilitate a forum for dealing with otherwise offensive issues in a way that also makes us laugh, and therefore seem less offensive.  They definitely deserve the same reputation as other programs on TV, as one that challenges the way people and society behave as a whole.  

The links below connect to the episode guide for each respective episode.  It provides a brief summary of what the episode is about, clips of key ’scenes’, as well as the link to view the full episode.  Please check them out and enjoy!!!

here comes the neighborhood

chef goes nanners

with apologies to jesse jackson

goobacks

 

With all due respect to YOU good sir……. June 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 10:46 pm
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[disclaimer:  my tone can sometimes come off as too critical or condescending.  This is by no means meant to be so.  It is one of my flaws as a person.  I'm working on it.  Until I get over it I won't make any attempts to run for office because god knows I wouldn't want to be called an "elitist" (okay, sorry...that was sarcastic)]

I am posting again today in response to a comment left by Bryman.  His comment made me aggravated, excited, and then grateful.  Aggravated, because no matter how much I try to not care about these things, I always get pulled back in somehow.  Excited, because I can’t help but not be when talking about these issues.  And grateful, because he is giving me the opportunity to clarify some points for you.  This is not a personal attack on him or the things he wrote in response to my original post.  Without him in my life I wouldn’t even have this silly blog.  So in advance Bryman, thank you for challenging me!!

I was not trying to make the point that poverty is not racist.  I was making the point that minorities are stuck in the state they are (right along with some white people) due to a lack of money.  This leads to a lack of access to education and stable, safe living environments.  This lack can then in turn lead to crime.  Both of these things can lead to stereotypes of minorities being both stupid and prone to crime and violence which makes people not want to hire, live near, or even speak to them.  Their current state is not due to the color of their skin anymore.  When I said that racism was not an issue, I meant in the legal sense of the word.  The instances you bring up are in fact punishable according to the law, although I agree that this does not not always happen.  That is not to say that they do not still occur, but now there is the full force of the law behind these types of offenses.  While racist may still exist, we don’t really like to tolerate it as a nation as a whole and it is most certainly frowned upon.

There is never a true discussion about race in this country which is the point I was hoping to get across.  The only ones truly allowed to discuss it freely are the minorities themselves.  “White” people tend to walk a fine line in discussing race issues.  Racism is feared by public society  and is not publicly accepted and any comments seen as “racist” tend to label the speaker as one as well.  If we are to have a true discussion about race, the white folks need to be able to speak up too.  No true effective change can ever really be accomplished unless both sides are able to speak to each other, and honestly.  We shouldn’t have to watch our mouths simply because someone might get offended.  People have offensive thoughts and we need to put them out there sometimes so that we can actually deal with them instead of pretending like they don’t exist.

This is what I meant when I said that it is time to move beyond race as such a critical issue.  I feel that the fact that a black man has been nominated for the presidency will help contribute to this.  Not that it isn’t an issue, but today it is not the direct cause of many of the problems that the very group is experiencing.  This is true because people on the same income level encounter the same difficulties.

Another point I’m sick of hearing, and I know that by saying it it will put me close to that line I spoke about, is the demand for greater representation of minorities in politics.  And please, before anyone gets all up in arms let me explain.  Sure, more minorities should be involved in politics than at the current moment.  But it needs to be accepted at a certain point that the minorities in this country are called such because they are in fact a minority in the population in the nation as a whole.  Furthermore, where are all the hispanics?  They beat out the blacks and the asians in terms of numbers and I’m sure if you counted the illegal ones along with the legal ones they would probably even get close to beating out the number of white people.  Lets take a moment to step back and look at some of the other countries in this world in which there is a minority ruling over the majority.  Several African nations have this problem where the white people are the minority and control the government.  Should those black folks be pissed?  God damn right they should be.  The true majority interests are not being heard which can create a sad state of affairs for most of the people living in those respective countries.  There are other nations that have this problem and I encourage anyone to take a look at them (A great book for that is World on Fire by Amy Chua).  My ultimate point is that we are only going to see so much diversity in politics.  There should absolutely be more of it, but we should always be wary of a minority ruling over a majority (like rich over poor perhaps?) and the reason why I tie it in with Hillary is the fact that women represent a little over half of the population and we are a fraction of the representation in politics.  At some points in history there was even more minority members in congress than females of any race.  This I find absolutely absurd.  I’ll take a minute here to insert some statistics from the current members of congress (taken from wikipedia so probably not the most academic source but it will have to do):

In the Senate, there are 16 women, the highest number in history. There are 13 Jews, three Hispanics (Mel Martinez, R-FL; Bob Menendez, D-NJ; Ken Salazar, D-CO) two Asian Americans (Daniel Akaka, D-HI; Daniel Inouye, D-HI), one Arab American (John Sununu, R-NH), and one African American (Barack Obama, D-IL). The 110th Congress includes the most religiously-diverse House in history, including the first Muslims (Keith Ellison and André Carson), the first Buddhists (Mazie Hirono and Hank Johnson), and 30 Jews. There are 42 African Americans (including two non-voting delegates) and 74 female representatives. There are also 27 Hispanics, three Asian Americans, and one Native American (Tom Cole, R-OK).

So ultimately out of 635 members of the Congress (435 for the House and 100 for the Senate) 90 (14%) are women, 43 (6 %) are Black, 30 (4%) are Hispanic, and 5 (0.07%) are Asian.  The US Census reports that in the population as a whole 12.2% is black, 14.8% is Hispanic, 4.4% are Asian, and lets just put women at 50% to make it easy (although in truth it is a little more than that).  So half the black population is represented in congress as of now.  By far the best representation of any minority group in the country (and I’m throwing women in the mix as they are always thrown in as a minority even though in truth they are the majority).  And just look at those poor Asians, or even the lone Native American, man do I feel bad for those guys, they must truly feel out of place.  Again, women have the worst representation overall, making up only 14% of Congress even though they are roughly 50% of the population.  And of course that is only on a national level but I feel its serves as a decent example for my purposes.

Some other random statements to throw at you too (mostly from things I have randomly read or experienced the last two years so if anyone needs citations I’ll be happy to get over to the library and look them up for you, I swear I’m not talking out of my ass).  Did you know that there are more minority students enrolled in Ivy League schools then there are poor people from any background?  That when I was applying to college I found an abundance of scholarships for women entering the sciences but that I couldn’t apply for any of them because they were directed at minority students, usually regardless of economic status? Not to mention the fact that especially in Boston, there is a racially diverse black population comprised of people who have immigrated from Haiti or Cape Verde.  So essentially what those scholarships are saying to me is that a person who has immigrated to this country, or whose parents have immigrated to this country, just like my grandparents did, has had such a hard time that they need extra help going to school?  So a female Haitian immigrant has access to funds that her female Russian immigrant peer might not simply based on the color of their skin?  Don’t they both encounter the same barriers?  Its total Bullshit.  My family on both sides NEVER OWNED SLAVES.  I shouldn’t have to pay for the fact that a bunch of assholes feeling guilty because a 150 years ago their families did.  My grandfather moved here when he was 6, got plunked into a first grade classroom not knowing a word of English.  He busted his ass, learned a trade, bought a house and raised a family and you couldn’t even tell that the man is able to speak fluent Italian.  Many people struggle and work hard just to secure the basic American dream of owning a home and raising a family in safety.  Do they need help?  Sure, but it ain’t just about the black folks anymore, so yes, its time they get over it.  We’re all having a hard time right now, regardless of our skin color.

So no, with all due respect, I would say that I am not ignorant at all.  I have been reading, writing, and discussing issues like these throughout high school and into college.  I allow my eyes to stay open to the world around me and the various experiences that ALL people experience.  I will not bow down or shut my mouth because of the color of MY skin.  I am entitled to speak about whatever I want, just like anyone else.  Not to sound like an ‘elitist’ but I could throw a few books at you, and ones written by some very smart black people, that totally support my point.  I think that it is great that Obama has not let race become a major issue in his campaign.  I think that if he keeps that up he will have a better chance of winning.  People are tired of hearing the race card.  We all need to get over it.  Older people like your grandmother or whomever else that feels they wouldn’t vote for someone based on color needs to examine why exactly they are saying that and perhaps because they are aware of their trivial bias, they should elect to stay home on voting day come November.  Sure tons of older people still have issue with race.  They have seen a lot in their day, and for them I am not sure much can be done to fix it, so really, why try to talk them out of it?  Why can’t our generation drop the bullshit of the generation before and start new?  The fact that people of color in my age group are still trying to pull the race card is just fucking silly.  We were both sitting in the same fucking room, on the same college campus, being taught in the same way, by the same professor.  So is it really that much of an issue still for our generation?  Still throwing that discrimination card around?  You’re right, when you’re different you feel it.  When you’re black in a room full of whites you feel different.  When you’re white in a room full of blacks you feel different.  If you’re a girl in a room full of boys you feel different.  When you’re fat and in a room full of skinny people you feel different.  Hell, just today I was given a judgmental look on the train by an elderly black woman.  Did it bug me a little bit?  Sure it did, but GET OVER IT!!!!  It doesn’t solve anything to continue to whine about these things.  Lets sit down and really take a look at why these populations aren’t succeeding.  Lets have a real dialogue where we can both talk about what’s affecting us.  I am positive we will find that today, it has nothing to do with the color of our skin.  

I stand by my point, its time to move beyond race.  Not that it is not still a factor but its not the whole pie.  There is a lot more at work than simple discrimination based on skin color.  Again, I am not a racist.  If you perceive me to be so then you are allowing yourself to remain ignorant of the fact that race issues affect everyone and everyone needs to speak about them.  Its not just white and black, its also red and yellow.  We are a nation of African-Asian-Hispanic-Native-Irish-Italian-Russian-German-Muslim-(etc) American’s and we all got shit to say, so can’t we sit back and try to listen and maybe without all that horrible judgement?

[I had some more points to bring up about why I feel Hillary's campaign failed.  I have done a ton of research on woman in politics, as well as woman in music and the similar barriers they face as I was supposed to do a senior thesis on the subject but ended up losing my advisor so I never actually wrote it.  If I started to bring up all that this thing would literally turn into a book so I will have to leave that for another day.]

 

I would never let a woman kick my @ss…….. June 7, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 10:36 am
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……If she tried something, I’d be like, HEY! You get your b*tch @ss back in the kitchen and make me some pie!” — Eric Cartman

I preface this by saying I am not a racist, a republican, or a even a liberal (feel free to ask me what I feel my actual political status is and why).  If you find my opinions offensive or biased you should probably just get over it.  You don’t have to agree or even change your mind, but at least let it make you think………

I wandered over to CNN today to update myself on the election.  You would think I would pay more attention seeing as there was a black guy running against a woman and I happen to be a political science nerd.  After finding my true love in political philosophy during my junior year of college I have pretty much left politics to the politicians.  I would much prefer to sit in a room and read books all day and discuss ideas of the world that will never be practical.

So the black guy won.  Good for him.  I’m actually really glad.  And if anyone of color dares to sit across from me and tries to get me to believe that their life is harder than mine simply for the color of their skin, I will be seriously tempted to punch them in the mouth.  Again, I am not a racist but I have been accused of being one.  I think this is mostly because I have a big mouth and I refuse to let ridiculous statements go uncontested.  I don’t have that so-called “white guilt”.  I’ll tell someone what’s on my mind regardless of the color of skin of the person that I am speaking with.  If they can’t deal with it, oh well.  It’s just like when I open my mouth about something a guy does.  Sure I get called a bitch but oh well, all I was really doing was speaking my mind, which if I remember correctly is something GUARANTEED by the constitution of this country.  So I shall politely say, fuck off and don’t count on me shutting up anytime soon.

I sat through many classes with my peers of color and heard them argue that their lives were more difficult, that they faced challenges in their lives simply for the color of their skin.  Well, like I said, I can’t keep my mouth shut when things like that are said.  I was supposed to believe that I was white and therefore I have no ass, cannot dance, and just coasted through life.  First, my italian child bearing hips give me quite a nice ass as I am often told.  Second, I can dance, and just as well as some of the hispanic and black friends I have spent time with, in fact one even told me that I wasn’t white based on the fact that I “dance like a spanish girl, with a black girl’s ass”.  Needless to say one of the best and most ridiculous compliments I have received in my life.  Lastly, how dare someone of color sit next to me and tell me my life was easier.  One girl happened to come from a two family household, and in fact grew up in a house, attended church regularly, and her family was contributing to a portion of her college tuition.  I am a child of divorce, I have lived in 2 different foster homes in 2 different states.  I can’t remember the last time I lived in an actual house with my family.  And the biggest to me is that I was responsible for 100% of my college tuition.  I busted my ass to find scholarship funds and apply for loans just to secure enough money to meet my basic needs.  So how dare she, or anyone else judge ME on the color of MY skin.  

And of course in my angry, passionate outburst, I forgot the taboo that white people are NEVER supposed to stand up and defend themselves when it comes to race.  How dare I speak about discrimination?  I am white and my life was all fine and dandy because of it (note intense sarcasm here).  I have always brought up the point that race is not the issue here anymore.  It is illegal to discriminate based on the color of a person’s skin.  And while discrimination based on skin color does still occur, so does discrimination of other kinds as well.  I have always taken the stance that it is now a class issue.  A majority of minorities also happen to be on the poverty level, but their white counterparts encounter the same difficulties and it accomplishes nothing to try and keep them separate by stating that a lack of education, crime, and spread of disease, etc. are all “black” issues.  They are poor people issues.  I have been discriminated against, or made to feel inferior based on both my gender and my social class, so while I do not understand racism, I certainly do understand discrimination.  You can be white and know what that feels like.

And I would just like to take a side note here and say that I abhor (yes, abhor, holla GRE vocab review books, and yes I just said holla) being called white.  I am an italian-irish american.  How dare anyone sweep my ethnic heritage under the rug.  I don’t understand the quiet polite “white” families in America’s heartland just as much as any black person doesn’t understand them.  Minorities are loud so the stereotype states?  Have you ever had dinner with an Italian family?  Or an Irish one? Or even worse, the mix of the two?  My family is ridiculous.  We always yell, we all talk at the same time, we like to eat food, we interrupt each other, we don’t hate the occasional drink.

Back to my point.  I’m glad he won.  I’m still not sold on him being the better candidate yet but I’m hoping his talk about change will actually turn into some action for change.  I’m glad because now in this country we can maybe grow up a bit and learn that until we can move beyond the trivial issues and focus on what is really plaguing this country.  We need to work together to move beyond race and get to the real heart of our problems.  Because trust me, the last thing that the rich white guys in charge of this country want is the poor white people to make friends with the poor black people and realize that we have more in common together than we do with the rich white dudes, and oh shit, we even out number them too!

So again I am not a racist.  My point is that we ALLLLLLLLL need to shut the fuck up about race and get to work on fixing the mess that those rich white fucks will be leaving us with.

 

P.S.  I am a little miffed that Hillary lost.  The way my feminist mind sees it, by looking at demographics, there are more women in this country than black people.  But we’re more okay with a black dude than a woman in charge of this country?  You’re right, gender discrimination couldn’t possibly be at work here.  Maybe next time, just to be sure, we should confuse the fuck out of them and have a black woman run.  What will we do then?  If she lost we might have to actually admit that politics in this country is STILL male dominated……..but that will be a political outburst for another day.

 

I couldn’t help but wonder….. May 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 12:27 pm
Tags: ,

Today the Sex and the City movie opens all across America.  I am what you would call a fan of the show.  I have seen all six seasons and more than once.  I’ve laughed and yes, even cried during an episode or two.  I am however, extremely pissed about this movie coming out and I have several reasons for feeling so.

The first would be that I felt the series ended exceptionally well.  It concluded in a way that there really is no need to find out what happens after.  As far as I am concerned this film is just an attempt to make more money off of a very successful series.  That kind of crap always pisses me off.  They are trying to force more out of something in an attempt to make more money and I feel that projects like that often take away from what came before.

The second is that I find tremendous issue with the fact that the premise of the movie revolves around Carrie marrying Big.  I in fact can say that I HATE that plot line.  The relationship between Carrie and Big carried through the entire series and it had its ups and downs.  They were both getting older and had both experienced their issues with commitment.  Big had been married twice before and Carrie had attempted to get married but found she couldn’t go through with it.  I enjoyed the end of the series because despite it all they found each other again and in a way seemed to understand that their relationship wasn’t the fairy-tale romance that every girl (minus a few of us of course) thinks is going to happen to them.  I enjoyed the show because it was real.  It showed that relationships aren’t always like they are in the movies or romance novels but yet here they are turning it into that very same thing!

By now I am sure you are all starting to understand my aversion to the concept of marriage.  I have always felt this way in my life.  No one ever believes that I truly feel like I do not ever want to be married.  There is honestly only one person in my life that has ever made me feel that maybe someday MAYBE I would like to enjoy that type of celebration.  But even that fact irritates me a little.  One boy comes into my life and I feel a little high from the chemicals that the so-called feelings of love release in my brain and I drop some of the most important things that I believe in, going against my principles simply because someone else made me happy for awhile.  Well luckily that situation ended and I was able to return again to the world of sanity and logic.  I feel that marriage is not something that is really needed in today’s society.  It doesn’t really serve any purpose other than the fact that it makes people “happy”.  Anyways I’m losing my point….back to why this movie is pissing me off…..

The third is that so many girls/women are so god damn excited for it.  I can’t think of a worse movie genre other than the “chick flick”.  There are very few of them that I can even sit through.  I like to see things explode.  I like laughing at stupid sexual humor.  I like seeing aliens battle predators, robots, laser guns, spaceships and ridiculous visual effects.  I like movies about comic book heroes.  And I HATE when they throw a love story into the mix of them.  I am all for gratuitous sex scenes at the conclusion of a crazy fight scene…..but all this love crap?  Honestly?  If you’re going to have a genre of the “chick flick” or “romantic comedy” leave the mushy love crap in those horrible movies, stop polluting the rest of the film world.  

Why do females give into these fairy tales?  Do we honestly still think about being a pretty pink princesse rescued by a prince charming?  Its absolutely absurd and the more we peddle this crap to our daughters and each other the more you will see females searching for something that just can’t exist anymore.  I see it as a major source of unhappiness for women and a source of conflict when they actually find themselves in a relationship.  If you want to be saved, save yourself.  IF I do ever decide to raise a child (most hopefully through adoption rather than childbirth) I don’t think I want to expose her to the silly world of Disney princesses and bullshit fairy tales that give us the hidden message that we should just look pretty and wait for a big strong man to come and take care of us someday.  I think that we as women as a whole need to examine our “culture” and start to make some changes, primarily by leaving behind the notions fed to us in films such as these.

[*If you're a female (or a male secure about himself enough to appreciate strong, intelligent women) reading this I would look into a series of books called "Girls to the Rescue" by Bruce Lansky.  They are a collection of stories about females being the heroes.  They were written/collected by a father who was bothered by the fact that none of the stories he was telling his daughter were teaching her to be strong and independent (and props to him for noticing).]

And finally for those who know the show somewhat well:

The fourth and last reason is that I am a Samantha (with some tom-boy Miranda qualities thrown in).  I don’t like relationships.  I’m sexually experimental and I am most happy having sex “like a man”, that is with a lack of emotional attachment.  I’m independent and like to stand on my own.  This movie is mostly going to center around Carrie I am sure and all of the above mentioned bullshit that I find issue with.  I never enjoyed the weird fashion, the “fabulous” times they had at ridiculously expensive restaurants and bars, or did I ever find most of the men they were with exceptionally attractive.  I enjoyed the writing and the fact that the show embodied what women do talk about when they are together and the everyday issues that they can face in the world, especially when it comes to sex.

In the end I will most likely end up seeing the movie, but needless to say my expectations are not very high……..

 

little old ladies can still change the world May 28, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 1:32 pm
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I am currently reading “The Second Sex” by Simone De Beauvoir.  I usually do most of my reading on the commute to and from work and today as I was getting off the train I was  stopped by an old lady who asked me if I enjoyed reading the book.  She looked up at me and put her hand on her heart and said “I didn’t think anyone still read that.  It makes me so happy to see it, that was our bible back then”.  The look in her eye was so emotional I didn’t know how to react.  I wish I had stopped to speak to her more, but we were both swept up in the crowds leaving the train and heading in opposite directions.  It was one of those rare brief moments in my life that I will always remember.

It made me think of where our so called “feminism” stands today.  “Feminists” themselves are still considered on the fringe of society.  I have never really understood why this is.  The fact that I have been asked by other girls “oh, so you’re a feminist?” is absolutely shocking to me.  Shouldn’t we all be feminists?  Being a feminist is nothing more than standing up and saying that you deserve to be treated with the dignity of a human being.  Not treated as a man per se, but a human.  I’m pretty sure that any girl (or woman if you’d rather) doesn’t want to be told what they can and cannot do, simply based on their gender.

The stereotype of a feminist brings to mind the myth of the burkenstock wearing, short-haired, man hating lesbians.  For any of you that have seen the movie PCU, the style of the “womynists” would be indicative of this stereotype.  The fact is, that is a total myth, these type of feminists don’t really exist.  I consider myself a feminist, and yes, while I would rather spend my days in jeans and a t-shirt rather than a pretty pink dress doesn’t mean I fit into that extreme at all.  I am far from man-hating, and in fact have more male friends in my life than female ones, and while I have wandered down the road of sexual exploration, I am pretty sure that I am not a lesbian.

It’s disappointing that more girls/women feel that there is nothing left to stand up for, or that mistreatment and inequality only happens in third world countries.  In reality our work is far from done.  Yes, women have seen an enormous increase and freedom since the 1950’s but there is still more to go.  Beauvoir wrote “The Second Sex” in 1949 and it is shocking to me that most of what she says is still relevant today.  While women may have seen and increase in freedom or “equality” male attitudes have not really changed in that same time.  Boys (I have met very few actual men in my life) still hold the same biased perceptions of female behavior and thinking.  On the other sided however, as a girl who spends most of her time around boys, I sometimes find that these perceptions are not always totally out of line….but that is a topic for another day.

As I explore feminism more on an intellectual and academic level I wonder if I will be able to find the reasons why, we as females/women/girls, have dropped our banners and stopped demanding what should be ours as fellow human beings.  I wonder if I will reach my old age and see a young girl reading the books that radically changed my life when I was their age?  My hope is that maybe they won’t have to.  Maybe the future does hold an equal rights amendment to the constitution, women in combat roles in the military, and the true acceptance of those who do not want marriage or children in their lives (it is my belief that women are not accepted when they do not want children or marriage.  It is still seen as a necessary and sought after step in life, that if a woman does not reach it is made to feel like she is missing out on something, but again more on that later….).

So thank you little old lady on the train.  You helped me realize how much your generation accomplished in your lifetime, and how big of a deal it really was, and hopefully that our generation can go on to accomplish even more.  You still have an impact on the world because you have had an impact on me.

 

in defense of inked and stabbed chicks May 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Reggie @ 6:16 pm
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It really aggravates me when people make negative comments about girls being or getting tattooed or pierced.

I talked to a guy last night who said he didn’t understand why pretty girls would do that to themselves.  That “if a guy falls in love with you and loves everything about you, he’s not going to want to look at all those tattoos.”  Well, first off if someone loves everything about me they will love my tattoos too.  And second, as if that is the only goal in life.  I should restrict all of my life activity, personal expression and personality in the hopes that some fucking asshole will fall in love with me.  

Everyone always brings up the forever issue too.  Like “your skin is going to get old, or it will stretch when you have babies (ha! to that one let me tell you!)”.  My main response to this is, “my skin will look fucking shitty no matter what, tattoo or not”.  And I’m pretty sure that if and when I get to that point I won’t be stupid enough to think that everyone in the world is going to want to look at it afterwards.  Therefore, I will be making an effort to cover up and in the end will be the only one having to look at it, and you know what?  I’ll be able to look at all of my artwork, even the shitty stupid crap and remember how awesome my life was.  Each tattoo marks something in a persons life, even if the tattoo itself doesn’t mean a whole lot.  People have a million and a half reasons for getting them.  In the end its their personal choice and they deserve to make that choice without judgement about it.  You would never get a tattoo? Fine, good for fucking you.  Don’t sit there and tell me it was a stupid decision.  Who are you to judge?

And the next most common thing is the wedding dress issue.  I’ve heard countless girls say that they want to get tattooed somewhere, or they would love a piece on their arms or their back, but they wouldn’t want it to show when they’re wearing their wedding dress.  Really?  Wearing a fucking white dress for one day is more important to you than an amazing and meaningful piece of artwork that you will have with you forever?  A friend of mine once showed me pictures of a neighbor’s wedding and the bride had a full sleeve on one arm.  My friend stated that “see she has a full sleeve and it looks awful with the wedding dress”.  My response was “I think her sleeve is awful, not the fact that it doesn’t look right with a wedding dress”.  In my mind, not all tattoos are created equal, and occasionally you get someone with something shitty looking, but oh well.  Not our place to judge.  Even if its a crap tattoo it may still hold meaning for the person.  

Another common question/statement I get is “who would want to marry you with all those piercings and tattoos?”.  I have some friends/family that are what you would call traditionalists.  They want their wife to take their last name, they want them to wear white at the wedding, kids will be raised in a certain way…etc.  A bride with visible tattoo work would certainly not be acceptable (but then again if they were truly sticking to tradition their brides shouldn’t be wearing white to begin with). All I have to say is that if having tattoos and piercings means boys will not want to marry me, cover me the fuck up!  Marriages are not (or should I say “should not”) be built on such trivial issues as the presence or lack of tattoo work and honestly as if my only goal in life is to wait around for someone to want to marry me.  Apparently my life is pointless unless I aspire to, and succeed at that goal.

Yes I have a vagina and breasts, and as far as I know I am capable of having children someday, but fuck if I’m going to give in and live up to societies expectations of me and ever plan to be married with children just because that’s what people are “supposed” to do.  If it happens awesome, hope it works out for me, but guiding my life choices around that crap?  Never.

I have to say that some girls should wake up and smell the fucking roses.  I don’t mean to say this insultingly or judgmentally of course, it sucks to be judged.  But I feel like girls today are still in a way being brainwashed.  There is this grand idea that you are supposed to find someone to fall in love with, work towards getting married, pop out a few kids, and then die when you hit close to 80.  Really?  Its 2008 and we’ve only gotten that far?  My point may sound harsh and I recognize that this may be a real pursuit or desire for some people, but does that mean it has to apply to all people, and especially to girls (or women if you’d rather)?  Why must we say “when we get married and have children” instead of being honest and saying “if we get married and have children”.  

I guess I just feel that there is just too much individuality among people to have all of them stick to such a basic outline for life.  Why do we feel that we must always search for that one person to spend the rest of our lives with?  The truth is that one person will never be enough.  One person can never be all that you need and we need to stop wasting time searching for them, even if it is only in the back of our minds.  Everyone in your life brings something different to the table, one person will never really bring all that you need bundled up all nice and neat in a sexually attractive package.  We need to enjoy who we have in our lives at this moment and leave thinking about the future to science fiction writers.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this later on.  I’m what you would call an “anti-relationship” person, although I think that label is sometimes a little too extreme.  I’ve had experience with relationships and it wasn’t all bad, but I feel that I have always been unhappy in them.  By trying to fit into what society’s definition of what is normal and what should make me happy, I ended up being very unhappy indeed.  My expectations were from an external source and not an internal one.  The second I made my internal expectations (or lack of them) a priority over what I was “supposed to” want I realized that a relationship is in fact not what I want, or more importantly what I need.

Relating thoughts about tattoos to thoughts about marriage and relationships? Yeah, that’s how my mind works……..I could write a concluding paragraph summing up all my points and tying them all together, but this is a blog, not a paper assignment for a sociology class.  Plus, I’m clearly not a fan of structure, just be content that I agreed to use punctuation and paragraphs.