So far, no luck.

But seriously, sexism sucks. If I weren’t on my phone I would type a longer response.

Its not really entirely their fault, the lifestyle encourages it. You can’t have responsibility like an adult when you are touring. No job, no house, and usually no serious relationship. And how mature can you really feel when you hang out, travel, and play music for a living? That is why when bands want to settle down and grow up, they have to go on hiatus.

Now, back to the issue at hand, there are several reasons for the “no vaginas” rule. Besides the obvious, many dudes do questionable things with even more questionable girls on the road. I know many dudes that love to brag to their male pals about these events, but get all hush hush around me (even though I don’t really give a shit). I think its even worse if you are close friends with a band. Different sides come out on the road and if you are a girl they respect as a friend they probably don’t want you to think any less of them. Even my former boyfriend didn’t like to get drunk around me because he didn’t want to look dumb in front of me.

Not in anyway defending the rule, and I totally don’t agree, just giving reasons I’ve heard.

Another is the male bonding experience. I dont get it, but for some reason tour is this super close experience for dudes. After which, they refer to each other as brothers. Heaven forbid a girl be there to ruin that.

If a box of tampons can really change the tone of a tour, you need to grow up.

Lets face facts, there are many shitty girls who have ruined it for girls like us. I have a reputation for banging band guys when I haven’t slept with anyone I wasn’t dating! And I think it unfortunately is worse if you’re attractive. Its lame. I have been friends with dudes mostly since I was a kid. I personally don’t get along with most girls but have no problem with dudes.

Any girl with self respect should be able to go on tour. Any girl who can hold her liquor should be able to go on tour. Any girl who doesn’t sweat the small stuff can go on tour. Really the only girls who SHOULD NOT go are girlfriends. Always drama!

However, one band I know and love usually tours with several girls. They had a female keyboard player, tour manager, and merch girl. Well the merch girl decided to band some dude in a bathroom in I think South Dakota and they had to bail her out of jail and both of them had to register as sex offenders. So really, I think it depends on the person!

If a band told me there was a “no vaginas” rule, I would tell them my vagina has a “no band penises” rule so they cancel each other out

And anyway, don’t they know they will sell waaaaaay more merch with a girl working the table?

i’m going to have to let the discussion on women in the military/submarines alone for now…..that is probably the only other topic that probably gets me as angry as women in music industry.

with that being said. i agree with you for the most part and i do understand your point. i think you were able to articulate it a lot better than i have heard in the past from other people. just saying that girls are crazy and that you may want to have sex with them and that’s why we would be no good on tour is lame. i’m all for legitimate reasoning when it comes to shit like this, but its rare that i ever hear it.

what i also think is important, which you stated yourself is that it is a hard life, and that not everyone is built for it, but that the best person for a job should be chosen to perform it and that there are a lot of other factors that go into choosing someone to work for you in that capacity.

tour is not as glamorous as many people would like to think, and many/most people are not built to handle it, musicians included. there are plenty of people that think its all fun and games on the road and that its all about just hanging out, which it obviously isn’t. this results in a lot of people going on tour that just to be with for that period of time. you really have to like and enjoy a person a lot to not only employ them, but spend weeks/months on end with them stuffed into a van.

as someone who has traveled many many miles the last few months, and essentially currently lives in a van, i’d like to think that i can handle that type of thing, seeing as its already my kind of life. its not always easy or fun, but no one said adventures were always fun. just ask indiana jones.

of course i hope people realize (and if anyone knows me at all) i tend to be “extreme” over things that may seem like not that big of a deal. i like to think its part of my charm. don’t worry i get over it eventually and i did write this in the heat of the moment. i felt it was important to post it anyways as there are not many forums for topics like this very often. i do really appreciate everyone giving such good feedback as i think that its not really a subject that gets discussed very intelligently a lot of the time.

i wish that more dudes could express themselves this articulately on this topic and treat it with the same fairness.

thank you again!!!

anymore dudes have anything to say out there???

first you have to breakdown what being on tour really means and understand the job title goes way beyond job “duties” and the work environment goes way beyond that of an office, a store or a restaurant: it’s your home and there is nowhere else to go.

i don’t think it’s unfair to have a preference of who you would want on tour with you based on whatever criteria you decide. whatever the job may be: merch/tm/roadie/etc the duties that person is responsible for are not just their specific task but you have to consider the impact they have on the show/travel/experience/morale/comfort. a grumpy person will bring you down, a drunk will make you look unprofessional, a lazy person won’t get work done, a slob will make everyone uncomfortable, etc etc. male or female, a job on tour with a band is not just the job – it’s the environment and how they affect it that’s almost more important than the job itself. and if some people feel that a female in particular will affect that negatively or upset some balance set forth by the band then who is to deny them that? it’s like picking a roommate to share a room with and also employing them with your own small business.

touring is like camping for an extended period of time. you know which of your friends you could take on a 2 month camping trip and you know the ones that would die the first day. it’s not the life for everyone and i can’t even imagine why anyone male or female would want this life.

10. Can women go on submarines?

Women are not currently assigned to submarine crews because of the very limited habitability and privacy onboard a submarine. However, women have been on submarines for short durations as civilian technicians for specialized equipment testing, family members for one-day dependent cruises, and female midshipmen conducting two-day orientation cruises.
http://www.navy.mil/navydata/cno/n87/faq.html

you can almost equate touring to being in the navy on a submarine. not that i approve of the us navy but here is a little known fact, there are practically NO women allowed on submarines. why? well they state lack of privacy and habitability but do you think that’s really why? bunch of dudes all pent up in a small umcomfortable space for long periods of time underwater to complete a mission is a lot like being in a tour van: tired, hungry, lonely, zombielike.

i’ll be the first to admit this commonly overlooked fact: we…are…all…animals…men, women, animals. capiche?

i’m not implying a woman would get raped and eaten by a hungry crew on a submarine but there are basic animal instincts that can come into play that go way beyond typical office mentality of women and men working in harmony. my point is a tour van and that life is not comparable to 9-5 office life in the public eye and accepted and appreciated as a norm by society. it’s more like sharing an apartment except that apartment is one tiny room with 5-8 people in it separated by bench seats.

ultimately, the best person for the job – any job – should be chosen and there is a lot more than sex to think about when choosing a tourmate.

any other guys out there feel its not a big deal? please explain why. i’d like to hear your point of view.