its not fair, and its really not okay…… March 12, 2009

I am so fucking pissed right now.  I have been so chill and relaxed the last few months and I have felt pretty awesome about it.  Tonight however marks “Extreme Reggie’s” semi-return from retirement.  There are a few things that can always make me quite vexed and this is definitely one of them, west coast vibe be damned!

• *disclaimer** :  To the dudes from the band that posted this message, if any of you ever read this, please know that I love you and I don’t mean to single you out.  This is not personally directed at you but simply points out a problem I see in the industry as a whole.  This has nothing to do with my personal relationship with you.  I am not an idiot and am fully aware that, no matter how awesome I am or think I would be on tour with you, there are reasons why I could never be the girl to go on tour with you.  Now with that being said………

My friend Rachell recently posted on her blog about the “click” moment when a women realizes or defines herself as a feminist.  Like her, I have always considered myself a feminist but there have been several moments in my life when I can undeniably align myself with the dirty label of “feminist”.  I have been pondering when that moment was for me so that I could respond to her post.  For all intensive purposes I can say that tonight has been one of those moments and perhaps even one of the biggest I’ve ever had.

Driving my cousin to the airport I saw a post from a band, which will remain unnamed.  This was the message:

“We need someone to come out with us to sell merch!  What do you get?  A damn good time, places to sleep, food, a damn good time (again), a chance to travel the country for free!!!  Hit me up if you’re interested.  Must be 18+ with a penis.  No vaginas allowed.  That would just cause problems…  haha”

It has officially become one of those “click” moments for me.  After reading it I just got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach followed by the need to yell “fuck that shit” at the top of my lungs, scaring the crap out of my cousin sitting next to me.  I flew home after dropping him off at a good 90 mph so that I could sit down and type out all the thoughts that were racing through my head.  Linkin Park came on the radio and I turned the volume on full blast so that it could provide me with some of the release that it did back in my angry teen high school days (its okay laugh if you need to, I did….).

This ironically also comes after an hour long discussion I had tonight with a good friend back home about my pursuing a career in the music industry.  I can honestly say that this is one of the number one reasons why I have hesitated in pursuing something real in the industry.  I have had some of the best times of my life at shows and met some of the most amazing people I know at them too.  It’s why I want to go into the industry, I want to keep it all going because its been such an important part of my life.  But it’s simply exhausting knowing I will have to fight things every step of the way and who the hell wants to willingly join up for something like that?  Sure, I shouldn’t care and maybe work to change things, but god damn is it everywhere!

I am so fucking sick of seeing/hearing ads and comments like this.  It’s fucking bullshit and I have no idea why its okay to post/advertise/say shit like this.  Its like advertising that you don’t take black people on tour.  You wouldn’t be caught dead saying some shit like that so why is it okay to do so with chicks?  In the end the reasons end up being trivial and only have to do with your own inability to control yourself and you should probably learn some of that….its needed a lot throughout life.

And trust me, I have heard all the reasons why girls can’t/shouldn’t go on tour, and I’ve even met some of them too.  I get it…some of the time.  But this is the line that kills me: “No vaginas allowed.  That would just cause problems…  haha”.  WHAT??  Problems for you??  WHY?  You’re too stupid/disrespectful/sexually driven to keep your dick in your pants and NOT hit on a chick?  If so you probably should not be allowed out in public or to interact with others.  Individuals like you are a danger to society.

It’s just ridiculous.  Being a chick myself that has worked for bands previously, its a fucking headache.  To constantly have to be dealing with dudes hitting on you/trying shit, etc.  It’s simply exhausting.  You just want to yell “dude, can’t we just fucking hang out?  Why you gotta be all up in my shit all the time? I’m trying to fucking work here!”.  If you do that too much you’re labeled as a bitch, and if you give into it you become the notorious “band slut”.  WTF!!!  There is no winning either way.  It shouldn’t all be on us.  I’m pretty sure that if dudes learned a little bit of self control they would realize that something might be gained on their end from working with a chick in that capacity.

This isn’t asking for special treatment.  It’s asking why do we always have to be treated like THAT?  Some of us love the show atmosphere, driving endless amounts of miles, staying up late, drinking too much, acting like idiots, can go days with out showering, and love being filled with the awesome feeling you get deep in your soul when you see a good fucking band play live.  Isn’t there room for us too?  Why can’t we just be people with you?

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, this isn’t only on the dudes.  Some of you chicks are responsible for this shit too.  I remember a very special evening back in October when I was involved in an altercation with the merch girl for a band of some very awesome dudes.  She was drunk and fucking crazy and it turns out, she also sucked at her job.  Not only did I get attacked and kicked in the head by this chick (and still have a scar on my elbow to prove it) but afterwords had to hear one of the dudes say “that’s it, no more girls on tour”.  AWESOME.  Thank you so much you fucking crazy idiot, you proved them all right.  I try and fight so hard against stereotypes and the reasons presented for discriminating against girls on tour and then I meet someone who embodies all of that awfulness in one person.  It makes me want to yell a big FML and then feel like a total jackass for trying to pursue anything that I want to do in the music industry.  How can I possibly argue against it when its standing right in front of me?

It makes me wonder what in the fuck is wrong with me sometimes.  It seems every field I’ve ever wanted to get involved in is not only male-dominated, but also has profoundly sexist tendencies.  Science for me had the president of Harvard University announcing that women can’t do science and math, politics has shown extreme disrespect for women running for the executive branch, the military won’t allow females in combat roles or on submarines, and now there is the music industry, where chicks are apparently only supposed to be the groupies at the shows.  Maybe I should have my head examined by now.

In the end though, I care too much about music too much to stand idly by.  To say that chicks can work in the music industry, but shouldn’t go on tour is total bullshit.  Saying that we can’t handle/shouldn’t want to go on tour is total bullshit.  Some of us can and some of us want to, we should be able to.  But even with all of my anger I’m not even sure what the solution should be to this issue.  Like I said, I’ve met the reasons why dudes don’t want to take chicks on tour.  It doesn’t make it okay in my mind because obviously not all chicks are like that but I can see why a band wouldn’t want to take the risk.  On the flip side of that though, I have seen some pretty shitty/sketchy merch dudes on tour with bands so really I’m not sure that its totally gender related.  Why take them and not me?  The only real difference I see is that a band probably DOESNT want to bang their sketchy merch dude.  And that to me is only the difference of a little self control.

And honestly its tough for the chicks too.  Musicians are attractive a lot of the time even though they don’t shower that often, are usually not making any real money yet, may drink too much, and probably still live with their mom.  But if we care enough about what we’re doing, we’ll exercise some self control too.  Its just like in the real world people.  Men and women can work side by side, just don’t go dipping your pen in the office ink.  It starts trouble in any work-place environment.  It’s all about a little self-control.  On both sides of the coin.

My hope is that someday we’ll learn how to be able to work with each other on the road without all of the bullshit.  I think its worth the effort in the end.  I would like this to occur sooner rather than later as I would love to be able to go on tour.  Its the one thing I know I would for sure love doing in the music industry.  That may seem odd as a lot of chicks my age start to get all serious about life, working “real” full time jobs, getting married, hell, even having kids, but this has been what I have wanted to do for a very long time.  As a girl who often struggles with having the mentality/sexual drive of a 17 year old boy I can’t think of better place for me to fit in

I’m going to put Extreme Reggie away now.  It was nice to have her around again as I haven’t been able to get through a legitimate post on here in a good many months so it was good to have her energy, focus, and drive back again.  I’m a lot happier without her these days and I think its all out of my system now……so until next time…….

It’s been awhile….. December 9, 2008

I don’t believe in coincidence. You’re thinking about someone and they call you. When you’re upset and you get a text from the one person who will absolutely make you smile. If you’re about to do something supremely stupid or harmful to yourself and others and something gets in your way to stop you. These things do not happen randomly. They happen for a reason. Sometimes we don’t always know what the reasons are, or why. I feel like the interesting/fun/challenging part of life is trying to figure out what those reasons may be, or even who is deciding them. I’ve never been a firmly per-se religious person, but I do believe there is something more in life. There is something that makes us unique, makes us human. My definitions are always changing when it comes to the who, why and how and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I am still becoming the person I am meant to be and part of that includes my spiritual development. Some people may be able to live without that in their lives. After all I have been through in mine, I know that that would just be too dark and lonely of a place to have to exist in if I didn’t have that part of me. People, opportunities, and even thoughts come into your life and mind to guide you to where and who you need to be, the tricky part is just making sure you don’t get too lost along the way…….

i can’t wait to be able to ignore politics again….. September 28, 2008

The United States does not have a free market system. There are many reasons for this. Regulations that exist today regarding labor, banking, investments, and trade have all been set in place to try and fix problems within the system.

Abuses during the industrial revolution led to the formation of labor unions and the development of labor laws. The Great Depression led to the development of banking and investment protection laws as well as social insurance systems such as unemployment and social security. Of course there have been regulations in the reverse direction that have hurt the country, but over all most regulation is done in order to protect the average citizen and their quality of life.

Regulation is not socialism (not that socialism is always a bad thing). Regulation insures that things don’t get totally out of control. The current financial crisis was caused by a lack of regulation in lending and investment. Businesses that usually call for a lack of regulation and this so called “small government” idea, are now the ones asking for help from the government. It’s been proven that businesses and market systems do not regulate themselves. They often do not behave ethically, how can they when the system is geared to the goal of increasing profit and not ensuring that the system remain sustainable and healthy? And now, when they are having trouble they are demanding help from the government, in turn treating it like the “big involved system” they initially fought against. Doesn’t anyone realize the problem with this?

If there were regulations in place in the beginning we would not be dealing with this crisis now. As an American citizen and taxpayer I am not okay with handing over 700 billion dollars to people that have proven themselves already to be financially irresponsible. Even more so considering that we are still funneling money and resources into a war that cannot be won.

I would rather my money go to make sure that hungry kids can eat food, families are able to get housing, fuel alternatives are researched, and the environment is kept healthy, and that maybe I could finally see a doctor and take care of my medical needs without fear of going bankrupt.

John McCain’s plan seems to be to lower everyone’s taxes while continuing to waste money in Iraq and that will somehow insure that everyone still has jobs, can feed their families, and make gas prices go down.

Give me a break. I used to respect McCain. He’s officially lost his mind. He just wants to win and he’s willing to use the ideals of socially conservative people in order to do so. He doesn’t even look like he could handle the pressure of the presidency for even one day which means if he kicks the bucket we will be stuck with Sarah Palin. I can tell you all right now that if that happens I am gonna be on the first flight out of this place. No joke.

Oh, the good old days…. September 27, 2008

Tonight I watched the daily show episode in which Bill Clinton was interviewed. You should go and check it out here if you have a second. Honestly, it really made me miss him as president. The dude is fucking smart and no matter what you want to say about him personally, he was a pretty kick ass president. It also brought up my resentment that Hillary lost the democratic ticket in this election. They would have been a power couple for sure, and that wouldn’t have been a bad thing!! Both of them are extremely intelligent and try and do the best that they can for this country. I’m sad they won’t get the chance to try and turn this country around.

You should watch the interview though as Bill had some things to say about the current financial crisis and the criticism that Hillary has received for not supporting Obama “enough”. I only wish that Jon Stewart had a longer show, I would have loved to hear Clinton’s view on Sarah Palin.

Kind of on a random note, but with the news constantly providing me with evidence that America is falling apart I have begun to pay more to things on the international front. I have a sneaking suspicion I will be wanting to bail out on this place if things continue they way they do. I will now have two friends living over in England that I absolutely promised to go and visit next year and I’m sure I will be tempted to stay.

With that being said, congratulations to Rwanda, the first nation in the world to have a female majority in their parliament. Again, and surprisingly enough, Africa is leading the forefront in women in government. A few years ago Liberia democratically elected the first female president.

I was interested to find out that Rwanda actually has a gender quota in which 30% of parliament must be women, but that recently women have been gaining more support in government involvement in excess of this quota. Part of this is the fact that women are actually 56% of the population and that they are actually seen as being more trustworthy and responsible then males when it comes to issues of the community. This is understandable when we remember the violence that Rwanda saw with the whole genocide issue they dealt with a few years back.

My friend Rachell left today for Cambridge University (she will be missed!!) to begin her masters in philosophy and part of her focus will be on gender quotas. I’m not sure how I feel about them myself and I can’t wait to be able to pick her brain on what she comes up with!

After seeing the treatment of women throughout this election its nice to see that elsewhere women are making some progress.

And of course with the election coming up on us so soon I’m not going to be able to help myself and start paying attention more to the news and such. I’m going to get really annoying about getting people to vote, so if you don’t like politics, or are deciding to spit in the face of a right that people die for else where in the world and don’t vote, you probably shouldn’t talk to me the next month.

Registration deadline is October 15th in Massachusetts!! Get your registration in now!! Voting is important!!!! If you need more info check out Rock the Vote.

B!tch you crazy!!! September 16, 2008

A friend of mine recently asked if I liked Sarah Palin.  I was honestly shocked.  Apparently, because she has a has gone hunting and lived in Alaska, a “tough” woman if you will, I am supposed to be impressed with her as a political figure.  Palin has two X chromosomes.  That’s about all we share.

I am not impressed.  I’ve done manlier things than go hunting, and I sure as hell know a lot more about foreign policy than this woman.  Maybe John McCain should have given me a call.  Although, I don’t think I could stick with the Republican plan of pretending like they care about the values and beliefs of your average American in order to benefit the rich while they screw over the little guy.

Anyway, I watched this clip on one of my friend’s blogs and boy did it make me laugh.  It also got me a little pissed off.  Now the republican party is all up in arms about sexism, and criticism of a lack of experience like they weren’t doing the exact same thing to Clinton and Obama a few months ago.

My criticism of Palin has nothing to do with sexism.  She is a crackpot no matter how you look at it.  She has 5 kids, the last of which is a newborn with down syndrome.  Her 17 year old daughter got knocked up and is about to marry an 18 year old kid.  There are rumors that she fired her public safety commissioner because he wouldn’t fire her sister’s state trooper ex-husband.  She used surplus money to pay for unnecessary travel for her and her family and she knows all about Russia just because she can see it from her house.

Give me a break!!  This woman is absolutely ridiculous!!  She doesn’t believe in birth control, sex education, or abortion.  Irresponsibility as a parent and as a political leader are totally unacceptable.  And yes we do have a right to examine how this woman makes certain decisions in her private life, especially when she advocates that other Americans should make the same choices in her public one.  No birth control?  The choice that led her to have a child late in life when she should have know of the risks (likelihood of down syndrome increases with the mother’s age as well as many other birth defects).  No sex education?  Her daughter will now miss out on a period of growth and development that all teenagers should have.  Instead she’ll be married to some guy and raising a child, which will be almost four before she can even legally drink.  And the money/firing issues?  Please!  A woman who claimed to stand for political ethics has done anything but!

So essentially she is telling Americans that she wants them to let their daughters get knocked up, bear children likely to be born with birth defects (note I am not advocating for abortion here, just proper use of birth control so that pregnancy at that age is prevented), when in need of money for a vacation just steal it, and if you’re in a position of power, fire whoever may have caused problems in your personal life.

Oh yeah, that’s the kind of woman I want to hold the highest office a woman has held thus far in the American political system.  A vindictive, ditzy, hypocritical, beauty queen bitch.  Because they’re my favorite type of girl aren’t they?  But you’re right, she’s gone hunting and has lived in the woods, something I should appreciate simply because I tend to respect a woman who can kick some ass.  The only ass this woman should be kicking is her own……….

And now to bring out the comedy act.  PS. I love Tina Fey.

I had some things on my mind…. September 14, 2008

I’ve been trying my best to ignore this election.  I don’t watch much TV these days so I’ve been pretty successful at it.  Of course though with all of the history being made during this election its almost impossible to avoid talking with people about it.    I studied politics in college and they used to be an interest of mine.  As a result, people often ask what I think about what’s going on.  I also happened to be watching TV tonight and got sucked into an MSNBC special on each of the candidates.  I decided to share what I think about all the happenings thus far.

1.  If you were a Hillary supporter and you are going to vote for John McCain because you are pissed of that she lost the ticket then you are pretty much an idiot.  Think about why you supported Hillary in the first place.  Is Obama really going to be all that different from where she stood on the issues?  Is it really worth another four years with the republican party after seeing where the country has gone under their leadership in the last eight?  Remember, we’re not just voting for the person, we’re voting for what they stand for.

2.  If you are Massachusetts resident and one of those people who tells me that you don’t vote, and that you are not voting this year as well, then you are also an idiot.  There are several important issues on the MA ballot this year, one of them being the decriminalization of marijuana.  This is a major step in changing drug policies in this country for the better, and most of the people I talk to on a daily basis would benefit from being a part of that change.

3.  I am not happy with McCain’s choice in a VP.  Just because this person has a vagina does not mean that she is a feminist or that she stands for things that will do any good for this nation.  I am saddened that a woman like her was chosen to run for the highest office a woman has ever held in this country.  I demand more from the women in politics.

4.  I have decided to support Barack Obama, and not in the “lesser of two evils” kind of way.  I believe he does have what it takes to be a successful leader and that he has a well-rounded perspective of this country as a whole.  I do believe that he will do his best to do what is best for this nation.  He may not be successful, but he will try his best.  Honestly, what more can we ask for but someone to truly try and keep our best interests at heart?

And that’s all I’ve got for now.  Get your asses out there and register to vote!  It does count and it does matter!!

Do you know who I am? September 10, 2008

I’ve been slacking a lot lately in the blogging department, not only in writing, but in reading them as well. I recently was able to catch up thanks to a slow week at work. After reading J-Man’s blog post “Best Friends Means You Get What You Deserve” I decided to take a look at the list of things you should know about your good friends. I realized that I could barely answer these questions for myself, let alone be able to say that I knew them about any of my friends. I decided I’d let those of you who read my blog cheat a little bit and learn somethings about me if you don’t already know them. I also felt I needed to try and define those things for myself. Fears, dreams, weaknesses, history they are all at the core of what make a person who they are. I’ve been on a mission to try and figure out who I am this last year so I may as well let everyone in on what I’ve come up with so far. The link is at the bottom of where these came from.

1. Know at least one of their life’s goals.
I’d like to go back to school for my PhD when I’m older. I think it would be pretty cool to be called Dr. DePiero. I figure that when I get burnt out on my crazy lifestyle in 15 years I won’t have a problem sitting in room and reading and writing books all day.

2. Know one of their weaknesses.
I don’t know how to ask for help when I need it. I refuse to ask for directions. I’d rather waste hours, days, weeks trying to figure out how something works rather than ask someone how to fix it. When I’m feeling vulnerable I don’t let anyone help hold me up. Part of it is not trusting that others can know something as well as I do, and part of it is the need to always be self-sufficient. I got so used to people not being there for me that I stopped asking for them to be. I’d like to change that.

3. Know what makes them truly happy.
My friends and watching a good live music show. When the two of those are together I couldn’t feel more complete as person.

4. Learn about their childhood.
I’d actually rather you didn’t. Just know that whatever weird fucked up shit I do now is probably a direct result of things that happened when I was younger. It’s no excuse for my less awesome behaviors. It is however, all in the past and it can’t be changed and I’d rather not talk about it anymore. The best I can do is try to be the best person I can be, right now. I don’t need any sympathy or respect from anyone for the things I have gone through. Just like everyone else I am just trying to get through this crazy thing called life. I made it out alive and I’d like to think I’m a pretty decent person despite all the bullshit I had to deal with. So lets just enjoy the present moment instead, it is after all, the only thing we’ve got going for us.

5. Learn about what they want in the future.
Adventures. I don’t want this crazy ride to stop for a second. I never want to sit down and realize that I am bored with my life. I constantly want to be going somewhere, anywhere.

6. Find out what they feel was their biggest failure in life so far.
I don’t mark my life by successes or failures. I’ve technically “failed” some things but I wouldn’t call them failures at all. Experiencing those things only helped me become even more awesome, so I don’t waste too much time on letting them make me feel negative.

7. Find out what they do and don’t like about their life.
I love that I am all over the place. I love that I don’t have any problem picking up and moving on to the next place. It makes my life pretty damn interesting. One thing I don’t like is the fact that my family is so spread apart. I’m only 23 and the last time we were all together was at least 10 years ago. There are few things I wouldn’t give to wake up and be with all of my siblings on Christmas morning again.

8. Discover what their dream job has always been.
Music and travel…..put em together

9. Find out what their favorite book is.
Books are my favorite in general. I’ve read too much from too many areas to ever choose just one.

10. Find out something they’ve always want to try, like skydiving or bungee jumping.
I’m always up to try anything. There are few things I haven’t at least tried. I’d like to learn how to skate board though honestly. I’ve tried it but I’d like to get to the point that I could at least do some cool stuff. There’s nothing more awesome to me than seeing a chick know what she’s doing on a skateboard…..unless its a chick playing the drums.

11. Find out who they admire.
I’ve never been big on admiring others really. I didn’t have very many people in my life growing up that I could admire really and as such I have always looked inside myself for strength, motivation, etc. Recently though that has changed and I would have to say that anyone who has the guts to pursue what they love, regardless of how tough it may make their life in the meantime. Those are the people that get all the respect in the world from me. I’m working to be more like them.

12. Know what their biggest fear is.
Losing a limb in a shark attack. I used to have the worst nightmares about it when I was younger. Shark week for this girl is definitely something to avoid. Second to that would be living your normal average life, marriage, family, owning a house, working a 9-5 job. Hard to think of anything more scary than normalcy…..and shark attacks.

13. Discover why they aren’t pursuing their dreams.
It took me along time to really even figure out what they even were. I think I’ve got a handle on that now. I’ve got some financial obstacles in the way right now, but soon I hope to be on my way. I’m just glad I was able to find out what that was.

14. Find out where they would live if they could live anywhere.
I’d have a house on a beach where the weather is always nice.

15. Find out what they thought was the worst day in their life.
Hands down the day I went to Denny’s funeral. It wasn’t real until I saw him lying there, and then eventually buried. Probably the hardest thing I had to stand and watch and I couldn’t do a thing to change it. Confronting the absoluteness of death affected me in a more profound way than anything else has before or since. Nothing feels more real, or makes you feel more helpless. Even though it was the worst day it gave me one of the best things I’ve ever gotten:  the ability to treasure those in my life right now, because they can all too easily be gone tomorrow.

http://www.lyved.com/people/15-things-to-know-about-the-people-in-your-life/

Welcome to Life August 30, 2008

I was partly feeling uninspired and partly retreating back into my habits of keeping everything I write super private. Some things have come to light recently in my life and I finally felt I could sit down and put it all into words.

It’s been exactly two weeks from the weekend that changed my life. I guess I don’t even really want to say “changed my life” because it wasn’t really all that dramatic. Its a change that has been waiting to happen to me for awhile now. I was just waiting for that one moment when it would all come together. I needed a moment that would feel so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. I finally experienced that moment and I couldn’t possibly be any happier or more content. The amazing thing to me has been that I have been able to hold on to that feeling for the last two weeks. The happiness didn’t just fade away after the experience. It stuck with me and its only fortifying what I’ve really known all along.

After college I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. I knew that I didn’t really want a serious job and I wasn’t ready to pursue any type of long term plan, but I started to feel like I was just floating around in my life. I didn’t have a purpose. I am surrounded by people on a daily basis that are so passionate and dedicated to making their dreams happen and I started to feel like I was missing something. To be around so many people in my life that are so sure of what they want, and eager to pursue it no matter what the costs, can feel a little intimidating even to someone like me. It’s been a little over a year now and I can say that all this time, although full of its ups and downs, was definitely something that I needed to experience.

I try not to have regrets in my life but as soon as my plane had landed back in Boston last October I felt I had made a mistake in coming home. When I look back now though, I know that I had to go through all of the tough times. They have only helped me define what I want out of my life. I was distracted from making anything happen before because I was too comfortable with the things I already had, even if they weren’t the best for me. My decision to move back out to Arizona was an attempt to change that, to begin to pursue something real, something that would make me truly happy.

The last few years of my life spent hanging out with musicians, going to shows, selling merch, and being what I like to call a “professional music fan” have hinted to me many times that I should work in the music industry, that maybe that type of career might make me happy. My love of traveling, meeting new people, and ability to handle insanely chaotic situations have made me think many times that I would be successful touring and managing. Until now I wasn’t absolutely sure that that was the right path for me and I had only ever toyed with the idea of actually pursuing that kind of career. I’ve come to realize that I am only getting older, and its either now or never.

I have had endless conversations with those I am closest to, trying to sort through how I felt about it, the pros and cons, questioning if I would be successful at it, etc. I just seemed to be continually pussy-footing around the issue. Well, I can tell everyone now that I am done with all of that. After that weekend I can say that I am absolutely sure that this is what I want to do. I just turned 23. Its time to take a risk and go for it. I know I won’t be happier any other way.

I have finally come to understand what fuels all of the people in my life. Its amazing knowing that something feels so right, that nothing can derail you from at least attempting to make it happen. Just like in the rest of your life there are no guarantees that things will work out. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t a point to trying anyways. As John Lennon said “life is what happens while you’re making other plans”. Well I am going to make other plans, but I want to enjoy my life on the way there.

I had a feeling the last few months were leading up to something, and silly me thought that it might just be starting my life again out in Arizona. I’ve never been so glad to be so wrong. After Bamboozle, Warped Tour, meeting my friend Amanda, and that weekend, I couldn’t possibly be more sure of where I need to go and what I need to do. There is just something amazing about going on the road and essentially sharing your love of music with other people. I am not a musician, although I have had my moments, but I can say that music is my life. I love listening to it, talking about it, seeing it played live, and surrounding myself with those who create it. I know that this is where I want to be, at least for now. This is what makes me happiest. Plans are certainly in motion for me, and we will have to wait and see what will become of them…….

My life’s these yellow lines….. August 20, 2008

This last weekend I went on a “fake” tour.  I travelled with two friends up to see Lannen Fall play shows in Vermont and New York.  For one reason or another I had never even been to Vermont except for the time that Christina and I had to rescue them from their broken down van after their first long tour in 2007.  I was definitely excited to see the scene up there and I had heard it was going to be a good show.

 

On the way up we were stuck in a ridiculous amount of traffic on the Mass Pike compounded with a crazy amount of rain it took us almost 5 hours to get up to Vermont.  We rolled into the venue and I was able to catch the end of Go Crash Audio’s set.  Of course Matt was being a drummer nerd and watching their drummer play, and of course I sat down to be a nerd right along with him.  It’s wild to see such a big dude play the drums!  After their set I headed next door as I heard a rumor that Horse was over there enjoying some beverages, and we all know how much I like those.  I enjoyed some drinks, heard some crazy news from Matt and then back to the show to watch Lannen Fall play.  I was a jerk and didn’t pay attention at all as I was absorbed with texting/IM’ing buddies on my new sidekick.  

 

All in all it was an awesome start to the weekend.  I got to see and old friend and catch up on his life.  He’s had a kid since the last time I’ve seen him and he’s only a few weeks older than me, its crazy!!  The bar right next door was pretty cheap and of course I found it necessary to buy myself and everyone else one too many drinks after the show.  Somehow we ended up in a hotel room at the end of the night where I got to sleep off my drunken stupor.  Woke up in the morning and went to breakfast and then it was off to the next show in New York.  

 

Jay had decided to stay with us that night so he ended up driving to New York for us.  We got there wayyyy ahead of Lannen Fall (nothing new there).  When we pulled up to the venue we saw a van pull in with Arizona plates, and of course I got a little excited about that, and then Jay tells me they have a chick drummer on top of it!!!  It was definitely going to be an interesting night.  We hung out with some of the bands, ate delicious sandwiches and helped a bit with load in.  I watched almost all of the other bands on the tour that night in New York.  It was the third show of this particular tour that I had been too and I hadn’t yet really watched the other bands play so I wanted to check them out.

 

I was most excited to watch The Summer Set, the band with the chick drummer.    Decent women in music are rare to find as it is, but the rarest of all is the infamous girl drummer.  I hated to admit it but when I first saw her walking around the venue I figured she must be selling merch or something for one of the bands.  She was just too cute and little to be a drummer!!  I was happy to discover that she is also a really good at what she does!! Honestly, nothing gets me more excited than to see women actually playing instruments in bands and playing them well (sorry girl vocalists/keyboard players don’t get a lot of points with me).  And to see a drummer no less!  Those of you who know me know I usually have a thing for drummers as it is, and the fact that she was a girl was no exception.  Amanda and I watched her whole set, and by the end we were in love.  Best thing of all is they are also the band from Arizona so I will absolutely be seeing them again soon for sure!!

 

After their set Amanda and I again set out on the task to not be sober by the end of the night.  Something we are getting almost too good at these days.  Between the bar in the venue and then drinking 40s with some of the dudes in Go Crash Audio, we were almost too successful at our goal.  One thing that will prove to be Amanda and I’s downfall in the future is the lack of foresight we have in who the hell is gonna drive us once we’re belligerent……

 

One of the most surprising things about this weekend was that I spent hardly anytime with Lannen Fall, the buddies I was going to see in the first place!  I didn’t even watch them play in New York.  I know I’ll be forgiven for that at least.  I’ve probably seen them play more than anyone.  I just couldn’t help going out and making new buddies.  It’s what I do best!!  Plus it was interesting to hear what other people and bands have to say about Lannen Fall/music/touring etc.  I’m so close to all of them I don’t realize that other people might think differently about them and their music.  It was also awesome to make some new buddies and get exposed to some new bands from places outside of New England.  I ended up staying with The Hint and Go Crash Audio that night.  I slept in their van and was woken up by their drummer, Sean, pulling out weights and shit from the van.  Yeah, he works out on the road, talk about extreme!!  Guess that explains all the muscles though……..

 

Later we all met up and headed out on the road back home.  A quick stop at Friendly’s for some chicken strips baskets and then hours of driving.  I was not happy to be getting back onto the Mass Pike.  I had zero desire to be back in MA, let alone the fact we still all had horrible memories of traffic on the way up.  The weekend had just been too good!!  I hadn’t yet processed all of the things that had happened over the course of the weekend but I had a feeling that the effect it would have on my life was going to be huge………..

 

but more on that later………

 

Thanks to everyone for making it such an awesome weekend!!

 

Also check out some awesome bands!!

Go Crash Audio

The Hint

Mercy Mercedes

The Summer Set

a life lesson July 22, 2008

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They again agreed that it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things— your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.” he said, “It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.”